How disturbing.

I just started and finished packing in approximately 30 minutes. I just realized that my whole life can fit into 2 small boxes. I win.



Huge going away party for me on Friday. I don't know if everyone's coming to say goodbye and they'll miss me or thank god that drunk girl is gone. Never again will I get to stumble around yelling obscenities and making out with the closest cute boy. So in honor of this, I present you with a few pictures of my best drunken debauchery.











So there you have it. This is how the last 3 years of my life has panned out. Basically just replace the faces with other faces. Either way I always look the same. Blacked out.

It's t-minus 8 days and counting till moving day. I got approved for my apartment today and I'm so excited. See ya later hole in the wall one stop light town.

Who knew I could feel emotions?

As previously stated, I’ve been plotting to get away from here since I was old enough to drive. Who doesn’t want to just get in the car and go? But now that moving day is looming closer (2 weeks to be exact) I’m starting to get scared.

I mean, I’m not backing out. I really can’t, considering I put my 2 weeks notice in at work today. Kind of a no turning back kind of thing. I don’t know what I’ll do without my mom being 30 minutes or less away from me. Who’s gonna take care of me when I’m sick and fix me soup? Who’s gonna yell at me when I stumble in drunk at 3am to tell her how much I love her?

I’m 22 years old. I’ve heard tons of people’s stories of moving to a new town and starting over without knowing anyone. They made it. But can I? I guess this would be the part in the story where I put on my proverbial big girl panties and suck it up. I will have to make it. There is no option to fail. Failure would mean trudging back into suck town with my head low and listening to the thousands (or 20ish) I told you so’s. And that is not an option at all.

On another note, my ribcage on the right side is throbbing. Any ideas? I WebMd’ed it, but of course all I got was nothing. See a doctor. Blah. It’s Friday and I get off early today. The weather is a gorgeous sunny 75. What does this mean? Drunken adventure of course. Who knows where I’ll end up, but I’ll be having fun wherever I am.

Charleston, will you marry me?

I got the job! And I'm in love with this gorgeous little place called Charleston. The girls and I road tripped down on Sunday and proceeded to make a mockery of the town. Ok, that's a total lie. I was like a kid in a candy store. Or an alcoholic in a liquor store. Whichever you prefer.

The beach was cold but amazing. We got completely trashed in our hotel room at 9pm and infiltrated the hotel pool. Whether it was actually open or not, who knows. It had water in it is all I know. Then we ran across four lanes of traffic to the convenience store across the street. It had a make your own hot dog bar. Ah-mazing. KT also did the stanky leg. Video to come.

All in all I love everything and everyone. Oh yeah, the boy is also amazing. Too bad I have to leave him.

Dear mystery man:

Why did you have to come into my life now? I haven't had these feelings or laughed this much with a (straight) male in years. Seriously. I was chugging along, hating love and being a drunk girl when you showed up. Now, I don't even want to be a drunk girl. Ok, that's a lie, but I wanna be maybe slightly less wasted every time we see each other.

A guy with a kid has always been a deal breaker for me. Not anymore. Your daughter is gorgeous. You appreciate my drunken rambling. You even remembered that I hate the color red even though I told you when you were a 6 pack of Hurricanes (gag gag) in. I wish you would get out of my head!


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On another note, it's Friday. Yah. I'll be off work soon and then it's get drunk and bust a move time. I'm pregaming and then transferring to another party where I intend to drink half of a half gallon of Jager and possibly wake up in the floor or on the toilet or something. Wish me luck.

Drunk post!

I'm drunk and starting to catch a hangover and I really want some McDonald's.

My friend Tori has two little turtles and they are amazing! So cute and I think someone is calling me? The roommate chipped my tooth last night. I was blacked out and we were in the bathroom screaming Total Eclipse of the heart. Don't hate. That song is amazing. So anywho. She was in the shower (fully clothed of course) and she slammed the door open. Right into my FACE. So it was fine until today. I'm sitting at my happy little cubicle and a chunk of my tooth fell into my hand. Cunt. But it's fine cuz she definitely pissed in the floor and all over herself later that night. So I win! HAHA. I'm drunk.

Way to bamboozle me, suck town.

I've been plotting my escape from this tiny town for years. It's like an old cellphone. Full of bad memories and mistakes. I regularly stand in line at Walmart behind the boy that broke my heart into a million pieces. And his WIFE. I love my friends and my family. But it's time for me to go.

And then, out of nowhere, I got bamboozled. I did my usual drunking around this weekend, pregaming at home and then party hopping on Friday. Pregaming and getting too drunk to leave so drinking at the house instead on Saturday. My friend's guy friend (i.e. boyfriend that she won't claim) showed up around midnight with one of his friends. And it was over.

I immediately called dibs on the friend. Why not? I try to get what I want. So I proceeded to babble at him for hours about who knows what. Then I semi-blacked out. I woke up the next day with him in my bed. I figured it was gonna be one of those really awkward one night things where you don't know what to say the morning after. But it wasn't.

We've been talking constantly and he drove 45 minutes to just hang out with me last night. Nothing physical, just cuddling and watching TV. So, 3 weeks before I'm supposed to start my new amazing life, I'm smitten. Stupid suck town.

The token job post.

It seems that right aroud the beginning of every person's blog, they do the job post. So here's mine.

I'm a jeans and tee kinda girl. I mean, I can clean up when I want. But when I do dress up, everyone assumes someone died or I was in court. What the hell? Anyhoo, somehow I ended up here. Working as a client specialist (i.e. call center rep) for a multi-million dollar semi-high end (as in $300 a sweater) clothing company. I give people style advice all day. While in sweatpants. I love my job. I sit at a desk. I talk to people. If they're rude, I can hang up. Pretty sweet.

I do not, however, enjoy the people I work with. Outside of work, I'm loud. I laugh at nothing and I'm aways smiling. At work, I sit down and do my job and go home. Apparently, according to what my supervisor said in a one on one meeting last week, I'm sarcastic. I'm not friendly. I don't have the bubbliness to work in this department. I mean, I still work in this department. But apparently no one knows how or why. Bitch.

So I decided to be friendlier. Try to make conversation. And all I get is blank stares and mumbles. Oh well. I've more than worn out my welcome in this town. So. I'm moving.


To Charleston, SC! Same company, except now I'm going to work in the retail store. And I really want to meet my dream man. Definitely can't do it here. So long suck town!